Ok - I know I have not blogged in a while. I have been struggling with my mood and don't like to write about being down all the time. My mood is lifting a bit, not sure for how long, so I shall seize the moment and BLOG. The weekend was ok. My grandson (the son of the my eldest son, Danny) was over to visit and I love him so much he always puts a smile on my face. He is 2 years and 8 months and adorable. He is a Toy Story freak and loves to watch the movie over and over again. By midday Saturday we were all tired of putting the movie on and restarting it every 90 minutes, so we did what any parent/grandparent would do. We convinced the poor little guy that it was now up to the dog if we were going to watch the movie. So every time he wanted to watch the movie he had to ask "Maggie" my English Springer (who really hates when Nick bothers her - she is far to much of a princess). Nothing made me laugh so hard as when he walked up to Maggie and said "Hey Maggie - can we watch Toy Story?" And of course, not being cruel, we said Maggie said it would be ok. He then took all his wants and needs to Maggie the rest of the day saying "Hey Maggie" everytime he wanted to ask her for something. I swear it was the funniest and cutest thing I have seen in such a long time. It really lightened my heart and felt good to have an honest to God - Wet your pants laugh!
The rest of the weekend was prettty light hearted until Sunday night when I went to pick up mexican food for the family with Danny. He just turned 21 and has been drinking regulary and of course was not going to miss the opportunity to drink Margaritas while waiting on the dinner. During this time, he starts to talk about my husband ( the father of all 3 of the kids) and how he feels he is not really happy because he is realizing his life is not where he wants it to be and never will be. I tell him that is true, since we lost Eric we will always have a hole that can never be filled. Danny feels we should "get over it". Are you kidding me - now the tears are flowing in the restaurant (again) and I tell him I hope he never understands because he could never understand until you've lost a child. He then tells me it is "almost" like when anyone/thing dies - even the dog. Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE MY DOGS and I cry like a baby when one dies (I lost my 13 year old lab 2 weeks exactly after Eric died) but losing a child is nothing like losing a dog. How could anyone even make that comparison . I was almost a little angry at him, but then I realized he just doesn't get it. I don't know - maybe he should Go Ask Maggie.
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