Not sure what I am "blogging" about today.  Not in the best of moods.  I am tiered and sick of missing Eric. I am generally a very optimistic person, and I know Eric is near and watches over me.  He sends me many signs that say he is near (more about that another day).  But right now near is not enough - I want him here.  Not only do I want him here - I want him to be happy about it. (Spoken like a true mother). But I know that cannot be.  I must enjoy him from a distance, and find peace in my heart with his decision to leave.  The side of me that is his mother that wants him to only be happy accepts his decision as I know he is safe, happy and secure where he is hanging out in another dimension.  BUT the rest of me  wants to throw things, kick and scream - I WANT TO SEE HIM, FEEL HIM, TOUCH HIM- AND HUG HIM.  I want to see him accomplish his goals on this side, and meet his children.  You know what I want the most,  I want to SEE him happy.