Mothers day letter to Eric

May 9 2010

Hello Eric.

Yesterday is was the 11 month mark since you crossed over. Today is mother's day and like any other day – I miss you. I try to keep busy and to remember you are happy, but I still miss you. Today I would like to tell you how much I like being your mom. First and foremost, you make me proud. You always have and always will – nothing you did in life or in your crossing has ever made me ashamed to call you my son. You have a great soul. I know sometimes when you were in this physical world, it depleted your spirit but I always saw it. You are kind and empathetic. You had such a dry sense of humor, and when nobody would laugh you would always say “What – nobody”. Sometimes you would drive me crazy because you always would “choose” to see the negatives in this world. I know it is hard to find good here but there is some. You show me the good a lot now. Now, I know you were just “homesick” for the other side. I imagine in comparison this is a pretty dark place to be. I struggle with the peaks and valleys of grief. But the sadness I carry is my own. It is my own selfishness that wants you back but in my heart I know you are were you need to be. Your world is now full of only peace, love, and kindness. I think the only way you get that here on this side is with a pill, a drink, or a puff – and even then it is pretty short lived. I look forward to the day I can share your new home with you, but my work here is not done. I still have to be here and be a physical mom for your brothers and it is something you once again are helping me with. You make me a better mom. Someday we can all be together again, but until then please remember you are still a part of this family and visit us often – leave us your calling card – a penny out of place, a feather, a ringing phone with no one there, a flickering light – whatever you feel like doing at the time - just make sure we know it is from you. You are always on my mind and in my heart. I love you son and I always will.


Love you forever

Mom